Once Upon a Friendship...

Back in high school, I had a best friend named Carla. She was two years older than me. I think we were so close because we both came from broken families and could relate to each other's pain. It wasn't the healthiest basis for a friendship, but we really loved each other. After she left for college I didn't hear from her for a long time. I thought she'd forgotten about me. We spent time together over her winter break, but then when she went back to school I became invisible again. It made me feel horrible, but I never told her. She knew me so well, couldn't she see how she was hurting me? I guess she couldn't.

By the time I left for college it had been years since we'd seen one another. We both found other friends and had our own lives, our own separate lives. I met someone, fell in love and got engaged. I thought about Carla every once in a while and looked at her facebook page. She seemed so happy in her life without me. I was doing fine without her. When it came time to send out wedding invitations I kept the one I intended to send her. I was afraid she wouldn't come. I didn't want to be rejected again. It was a decision I would come to regret.

A few months after the wedding I got a message from Carla. It was short and direct: "Pretty sad I never got an invite." I realized that I had hurt her in the same way that she had hurt me. She had seen our wedding pictures, the ones with us celebrating with our new friends from college. Now she was feeling rejected, replaced. How could I have done this to her? It was so thoughtless of me.

Today I asked her to forgive me. I don't know if she is capable of that yet. I don't think I would be. I just hope that my past actions have not lead her to question her worth. Her friendship was the most precious thing I've ever known. She will always be dear to me.