I have always wanted to be someone's mommy. And last week, I thought my time had finally come. I was late... I mean really late. I started hoping and praying so much that I would be pregnant. I don't think I've ever wanted something so desperately before in my life (except maybe my husband on our wedding night) ! I started reading this book called What to Expect When You're Expecting... and I was sure I had nearly all the tale-tale signs of being with-child. I guess I let my hopes cloud my vision a bit, because I took a home pregnancy test on Valentine's Day and the results broke my heart.
My husband wants children too... and I know he'll be a terrific dad. It's just hard to keep on going after these past few failed attempts. I get these thoughts that maybe I can't conceive, thats its my fault. I worry that I'm failing Brandon as a wife. I know it takes most people around 6 months to get pregnant, but this last false alarm just seemed so real.
I know I'll be a mom one day, and I can hardly wait. I'm trusting the Lord for his good and perfect timing (and praying that he'll see that my timing would be pretty cool too). It's tough being patient for this baby.... but baby, I know when you get here I'm gonna love you so much more than I love you now... which is crazy because the mere idea of you fills up my heart to overflowing. Come home soon, okay?
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